It happened again! It's been a little over a month since I've written which I don't like at all. But life keeps running along even when you make the best laid plans.

The title of this blog is fires because that is exactly how I see my life right now. There are fires burning everywhere in my family with health issues of all kinds... cancer, anxiety, depression, OCD, low muscle tone, speech delays, etc. Some of the fires seems manageable and others seem to be raging with unknown answers.

But here it comes..... God's got this! God's got all these fires and he's not only aware of them he knows when they will go out our a least when they will become more manageable. 

One of my pastors has been counseling me on life having "tensions to manage." I would definitely say my family is in the season of life with many tensions to manage.

I personally am seeking God in how to counsel, find joy, and offer comfort to those in my family hurting and how to keep grounded in the Lord while these fires rage on. These tensions are not going to go away any time soon. It's part of the reason my husband Daniel and I decided to wait on adopting. It became apparent to us in early November that this is just not the right season of life for us to add to our family. And I'm shockingly ok with that. I now know why God didn't want me to get pregnant this summer or fall. I couldn't be the daughter, sister, etc to those that need me if I was pregnant, dealing with oscillating moods and probably back and leg pain.

God has his reasons for everything and often we don't see them right away when we're desiring something so badly. It takes time for us to see God's plan and thats just the way it is. God is both sovereign and omniscient. He is all knowing and all seeing and none of these tensions to manage or fires are a shock to him. He's been preparing Daniel and my hearts for this unbeknownst to us. 

God has allowed suffering in Daniel in my life and to find comfort from the Lord during those times so that we can offer comfort to others in their times of pain. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

I know for sure Daniel and I would not be managing tensions without the love knowledge and comfort God has shown us over the years. 

Lately, I've been blessed with meeting with a Pastor who has his master's in counseling and is helping me navigate these fires in my life. It's been a true blessing to have encouragement from another brother in Christ who has also suffered and is able to offer comfort to those going through difficult circumstances. God's grace and mercy in his life is then poured onto me because of the love he has received, thus, our pastor is able to share it with others like me.

I guess I say all this because I want you to stick with me. I hope to be able to continue writing through the pain. I'm sorry not to be more descriptive on exact family members but I want to keep their privacy. Just please pray for our immediate and extended family during this time.

God is all knowing and he will work everyone's pain for good. That I am sure of. We may not see the why's this side of heaven but that's ok. We trust in the Lord with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding. (proverbs 3:5)

I want to offer anyone going through a hard time right now hope. Hope in Jesus. Hope in the cross. Their will be moments of joy and you can experience peace in the midst of fires. With faith in Jesus he will bring peace and comfort, throughout life's tensions to manage. We can be assured he will always be with us.

A verse I have been meditating on the last few days is focusing my eyes on not the world around me but on what is unseen. 

2 Corinthians 4:18

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."



And also, as Jesus said in the book of John,

John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

So will you pray with me for peace and comfort while these fires rage on? Pray to the one who will bring us sustained joy through numerous health issues and illnesses. 

In Jesus name, Amen.